Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I cockslap morals
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just googled if crying burns calories
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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