I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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