So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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