THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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