it wasn't lemon gatorade
you mean i was at the winter classic?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
