i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I understand Curling. That high.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
