I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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