If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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