I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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