it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
