Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
