Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Randomize
