It was confusing and full of hummus
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
