White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
