They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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