You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
