Sry I called you an 8
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
