One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
