So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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