Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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