i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
