shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
