oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
