you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
