I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
