the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
