So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
nutella sex= disaster
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
