check it out our google latitudes are spooning
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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