Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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