i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
