one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
