There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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