Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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