he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
