She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
