Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
