Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize