Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
