I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
