maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
