she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize