can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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