that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize