I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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