playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
