went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize