I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
its not stalking. its research.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
