If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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