I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
