Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
How's work?
Spinning.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
