you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
