Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
