i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
