Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You ruined the universe
Randomize
