man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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