If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
