is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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